


I Think I Lost My Halo

by Lamplight



Category: 21p - Fandom, 21pilots, Suicidal - Fandom, Twenty One Pilots, Tyler Joseph - Fandom, depression - Fandom, josh dun - Fandom, twentyonepilots
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Other, Sadness, Suicide, suicidal, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5163947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamplight/pseuds/Lamplight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler and Josh are, as everyone knows, best friends. But what everyone does not know is just how destructive Tyler's mind can be. His mind is his most powerful weapon, and it's aimed at himself. His demons and voices torture his every breathe, and mock every action. Josh knows very little about how destroyed Tyler feels. Until he discovers Tyler in the most painful state.</p><p>You never know the war someone is fighting behind their smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I Lost My Halo

**Author's Note:**

> Though I am a HUGE Twenty One Pilots fan, please know this is not a joshler fic. I respect them as a brothership-type bond. They are best friends to me, so please read this as so. ALSO: If you're sensitive to depression, suicide, or cutting, please be cautious when reading. Also, take care of yourself today. You are amazing. :)

((( Josh's Point Of View )))

I knew exactly what awaited me behind the bathroom door. I didn't want to face exactly what was behind this door. In fact, I was terrified to face it.

I knew that behind this door was the consequence of a mind destroying a body.I knew behind this door was the consequence of me not being a good enough friend.

I desperately begged for a miracle to happen that would change the circumstance. I knew I had to to find out. I took a deep breath, and opened the door, preparing myself for what was to be found.

Pale fingers were what awaited me.

Pale fingers barely holding an empty bottle of pills. Pale fingers connected to a pale body. A Pale body holding empty eyes. Empty like the bottle. Empty like the soul.

To believe what I saw was true was impossible. I couldn't accept what sight I had before me. It was too much. Too much sorrow on the pale body's face. Too much pain that the body endured in the hands of the mind. Too much for me to understand why. 

I felt the warm tears sting the corners of my eyes as I took a step closer.

Every step was a battle. Every step was a fighting war that was nearly impossible to win. Every breath I took contained the agony of the sight I saw. And what I saw I will never recover from. What I saw will forever tear me apart. What I saw will always haunt me, and I can never escape the sight.

What I saw was a faint breath, grasping onto life as it simultaneously begged for death. What I saw was depression and anxiety's effect onto one person.

What I saw was Tyler, clinging to a lifeline he so desperately had wanted to end.


End file.
